A life? Cool! Where can I download one?
(Atom: Hahahahahahaha! Um, yeah.)
There are three types of people in this world: People who can't count and people who
(Roger: ... Oh!) Blonde moment? (Roger: -grumbles- Everyone's
"I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man were to challenge me to one, I would take
him quietly and forgivingly by the hand, and take him to a quiet place and kill him." -Mark Twain
(Atom: I wanna do that, too!)
Always remember that you are unique, just like everybody else.
(Roger: As if nobody has ever though of that before. -rolls eyes-)
To err is human. And stupid.
(Atom: Does that mean humans are stupid?)
Even if you're paranoid, maybe they really are after you.
Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.
(Roger: Why do you have that up here? It's going to jinx us!)
What?!? This marriage is OVER! (Roger: Wha..?)
Fungus is actually alive. Be afraid.
(Atom: Now I'm going to have bad dreams.)
Never try to lick a glacier for some moisture.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
(Atom: Are you trying to tell me something, Klug?)
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
(Roger: Is this why we have a paper shredder?)
You can't teach an old dog new tricks, but you can beat him repeatedly with a rolled
(Atom: Now I want a dog.)
Never call a man a fool. Borrow from him.
(Atom: Roger, I need a twenty, you know, just to tide me over...)
Some drink at the Fountain of Knowledge. Others just gargle.
We live in an age where pizza gets to your home before the police.
Kids in the backseat cause accidents. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
(Roger: Is that where ours was conceived?) Nope, this one was conceived in that bathroom stall.
(Roger: Oh, yeah... That time we did it in the backseat, you only thought you were pregnant.) (Atom: Ew. Ew. Ew.)
If guys had periods, they'd brag about their tampon size.
Friends are like condoms. They protect you when it gets hard.
(Atom: As far as I can tell, you guys never used a condom.) (Roger: Yeah, that takes all the fun
out of it.) (Atom: ...I'll keep that in mind.)