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The Life of Anna

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News:
February 21, 2005
(Atom: Like, yeah...)
(Roger: Gah! When did you get here?)
(Atom: Um...the front door was open.)
(Roger: Not fair! The lock's broken!)
(Atom: All's fair in love and war.)
Atom...
(Atom: What?)
Don't say love... I know you love Roger, but he's mine!
(Roger: Now, now girls...don't have a catfight... Oh, what the heck. Get in your bikini's and let's have a mudfight! YEAH!)
-Atom and Klug stare at him-
(Roger: ....or we could have a threesome.)
-The others hurriedly grab bikinis-
(Roger: Blast...that almost worked...)
Roger, you're supposed to take care of me....the woman who's carrying your unborn child.
(Roger: Meh.)
(Atom: It's getting awkward now.)
(Roger: -tries to weird Atom out more- Angela, let's go have sex!)
I'm game.
(Atom: -leaves quickly-)
Wait...aren't we supposed to show the news?
(Roger: -whines- Can't they wait?)
-answers by taking off her shirt-
LATER
Ok, as you may have guessed from the above conversation (FYI: This actually happens as I'm typing.), I'm preggers.
(Roger: And you still look, as I believe some say, hot. -growls-)
Down, boy.
(Roger: Fine...)
We just did it!
(Roger: Yeah, we did. It was excellent, by the way.)
Oh, yeah. -curses- I have college homework! I'll be back later!
 
February 23, 2005
No, we're not.
(Roger: Yes, we are.)
No, we're not.
(Roger: Yes, we are.)
No.
(Roger: Yes.)
(Atom: No! Yes!)
(Roger: Stop taking advantage of the broken lock, Atom!)
(Atom: What are you guys even arguing about?)
Whether we should find out the baby's gender, or not.
(Roger: Did you not say "baby's sex" on purpose?)
Yeah, I didn't want you to get all horny.
(Atom: Please, guys...ew. Anyway, I agree with Klug!)
Two against one. We win.
(Roger: Meh, I say, meh!)
Okay...
(Atom: What do you want he or she to be?)
Girl.
(Roger: Girl.)
(Atom: Ok, cool. Do I get to be her godmother?)
...sure...
(Roger: Oh, come on, Klug...why?)
(Atom: Too late! She already said yes!)
No, scratch that! Blame...the pregnancy hormones for that outburst!
(Roger: Always works.)
-smacks him upside the head-
(Atom: -sings- I am her godmother! Yay yay yay yay yay!)
(Roger: What about names?)
For girls...Angela?
(Roger: Nah, Angela would want to be her godmother then, and if Angela were her godmother, she'd be screwed.)
Yeah... Amy?
(Atom: No, Angela has a friend named Amy.)
She does?
(Atom: Yeah, sucks, huh?)
(Roger: Did you just say "sucks"?)
(Atom: Uh, yeah. 12-year old moment there.)
Apparently. Anyway, what about Cassandra?
(Roger: You're out of the "A" names?)
Yeah.
(Roger: I like Cassandra. What does it mean, though?)
(Atom: -looks it up-  "Possibly 'shining upon man'..." What does that mean?)
(Roger: I don't know, but it sounds like someone who wants to have sex.)
Roger, I swear, if you tell her about sex, and how great it is, I will kill you.
(Roger: But-but...)
-glares-
(Roger: -mutters about pregnancy hormones again-)
(Atom: -runs away-)
-beats Roger up-
Anyway...Atom, do you like the name Jane?
(Atom: Not really. How about...Sarah?)
No good. It means "lady" or "princess". I don't want my girl to grow up to be...a prissy, snobbish, cutesy girl.
(Roger: -groggily- Yeah...)
Are you okay?
(Roger: -nods- Sorry.)
-rolls eyes- Never do it again.
(Roger: I'll definitely...remember.)
Good, now let's take a break and have sex.
(Roger: -perkily- Ok! Sure!)
(Atom: I'll, um, see you guys later...)
 

February 24, 2005
Ok, we've decided, then.
(Roger: Yep.)
(Atom: What is it?)
The names....what did you think?
(Atom: -shrugs-)
Um, okay, anyway....if it's a girl...Samantha Irene Peterson. For a boy, Thomas Drake Peterson.
(Atom: Awww.)
(Roger: Um, yeah. Anyway, Samantha Irene means: Listener Peace. So, ah, I guess she'd be a peaceful listener. And Thomas Drake means: Twin Male Duck OR Twin Dragon.)
(Atom: ...twin?)
What's wrong with that? My name is like Hannah, which means "Grace". I am definitely not graceful. -promptly bangs into desk-
(Roger: -rolls eyes- My first and middle names mean "Famous spear  Chariot fighter". When I was in school, I didn't win fights. I did not start fights. I was in a fight, because of some mean people. -wipes tear- And I lost. Painfully.)
Poor Roger. My full name means "Grace Graceful woman". What atrocious naming.
(Atom: -sighs- My full name means "Admirable Lover". I have never found love. I have gone on a date...twice. Pathetic? I think so.)
I met someone you would like, Atom...
(Atom: -perks up- Who?)
His name's David...you would love him. He works with me.
(Atom: Will you set me up?)
I guess so.
(Atom: -starts singing-)
(Roger: Why would anyone want to go out with David?)
(Atom: Huh?)
He's just jealous...David hits on me all the time.
(Atom: So, if I went out with him, he would cheat on me?)
No, no, no... When he had a girlfriend, he didn't try to feel me up at all.
(Atom: I've got a feeling that my standards are getting lower by the day.)
(Roger: No, you think?)
My advice is to take a condom with you.
(Atom: ...ew. Well, whatever. I shall, and I will fall in love.)
Can you plan that?
(Atom: I can try.)
(Roger: Sure...)
Anyway, I'll make a date for you guys right now.
LATER
(Atom: I've gotta go pick out what I want to wear tomorrow!)
(Roger: Don't forget to bring a condom.)
(Atom: -rolls eyes- I don't even believe that.)
It's your funeral.
(Atom: To quote Roger, meh. -leaves-)
What's your bet?
(Roger: She's gonna have sex with him. -thinks- At his house...without a condom.)
I'd believe that.
(Roger: Well, we'll see on Saturday, won't we?)
That we will.
 

February 26, 2005
Well, it's official---Atom thinks she is in love...with David.
(Roger: Anything else?)
She also thinks she's pregnant.
(Roger: Was I right on with my bet?)
Totally correct.
(Roger: Somehow, it's not satisfying.)
Maybe it's because they're not married?
(Roger: Well, when we went out, we had sex, so I don't think it's that...)
Is it because she thinks she's pregnant?
(Roger: ...yeah. I mean, there was only one time you thought you were pregnant, and that was when I decided to marry you.)
Really?
(Roger: Yep.)
How many times diod we have sex while going out?
(Roger: We started going out in 10th grade....started having sex in 12th...stopped going out a year ago....went out about twice a month....had sex at least once every three months...I'm not going to work it out.)
We have sex about once a week now.
(Roger: Nah, twice. We've had sex 6 times, now that we're married.)
You've kept track?
(Roger: ...well, yeah.)
Before you get all horny on me--
(Roger: Too late.)
-rolls eyes- Anyway, let's go over and see how Atom is.

March 2, 2005
(Roger: Blast her. BLAST HER.)
I cannot believe this...
(Roger: She's pregnant, he left her, the SCUMBAG.)
Yeah...
(Roger: Are you all right?)
I'm just still in shock.
(Roger: I passed that stage. Now I'm in the "I must KEEL him" stage.)
Ah.
(Roger: Idiot, scumbag, bloody IMBECILE.)
Why did I set her up on a date with him?
(Roger: Woah. You're in the "Guilt" phase. How did you pass the "I must KEEL him" phase?)
'Cause I'm a girl.
(Roger: Oh, right. Don't blame yourself.)
-starts crying- But Atom's so young....
(Roger: She got into this mess.)
She's only 21!
(Roger: At least she's not a teen.)
-sniffs- Yeah, but...
(Roger: -sighs- This really blows.)
-wipes eyes- Totally.
(Roger: ...we sounded like school children there.)
Oh, well.
(Roger: Yeah.)
-both stare into distance-
Roger?
(Roger: Yeah?)
Why do you think Atom's such an idiot?
(Roger: Because...she's Atom.)
Do you think...do you think she should abort?
(Roger: -takes a deep breath- Yes.)
-bites lip- Me, too.
(Roger: She's just...not cut out to be a mother, let alone a single mother.)
To tell the truth, she's the most irresponsible person I know. Even including you.
(Roger: Hey!)
Only joking, only joking.
(Roger: Anna?)
What?
(Roger: You are the best bloody wife ever. My god, I love you.)
-snogs him and drags him to the bed-
(Roger: Oh, this is going to be nice...)
 
March 10, 2005
(Atom: -sniffles- Hello, guys.)
Hey, Atom.
(Roger: Yo.)
-raises eyebrow-
(Atom: Did you post it on the website?)
Well, now I will. Atom isn't pregnant anymore. Which does blow, but at least she'll be more CAREFUL next time. Hint hint.
(Atom: Yup. Definitely.)
(Roger: Anyway, we decided to find out what the gender of the baby is today, Atom.)
(Atom: And?)
Tell her, Roger.
(Roger: Two. One girl, one boy.)
(Atom: What?)
(Roger: Twins.)
(Atom: ...what?)
(Roger: For God's sake! Twins! Twins!)
(Atom: Ok, I heard. Now for my childish screaming. AIEEEE!!!! HOW AWESOME!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!)
-hugs Atom-
(Atom: Hey, what month are you in?)
8th, almost ninth. Finally.
(Atom: What made you guys decide to find out so bloody late?)
Um...curiosity overcame us.
(Roger: Yeah.)
(Atom: This is so awesome! Am I godmother for both of them?)
(Roger: Obviously. We wouldn't want anyone else to.)
-starts crying- Oh, my God, that is soooo touching.
(Roger: -looks at Atom-)
(Atom: -looks at Roger-)
-hugs them both-
-awkward hugs are exchanged-
-wipes away tears- Does anyone want to go out to lunch?
(Roger: -glad that the hugging is over- Sure!)
(Atom: Let's go Chinese!)
Wonderful!
-everyone leaves for a happy, funfilled lunch-