News

News:

February 21, 2005

(Atom: Like, yeah...)

(Roger: Gah! When did you get here?)

(Atom: Um...the front door was open.)

(Roger: Not fair! The lock's broken!)

(Atom: All's fair in love and war.)

Atom...

(Atom: What?)

Don't say love... I know you love Roger, but he's mine!

(Roger: Now, now girls...don't have a catfight... Oh, what the heck. Get in your bikini's and let's have a mudfight! YEAH!)

-Atom and Klug stare at him-

(Roger: ....or we could have a threesome.)

-The others hurriedly grab bikinis-

(Roger: Blast...that almost worked...)

Roger, you're supposed to take care of me....the woman who's carrying your unborn child.

(Roger: Meh.)

(Atom: It's getting awkward now.)

(Roger: -tries to weird Atom out more- Angela, let's go have sex!)

I'm game.

(Atom: -leaves quickly-)

Wait...aren't we supposed to show the news?

(Roger: -whines- Can't they wait?)

-answers by taking off her shirt-

LATER

Ok, as you may have guessed from the above conversation (FYI: This actually happens as I'm typing.), I'm preggers.

(Roger: And you still look, as I believe some say, hot. -growls-)

Down, boy.

(Roger: Fine...)

We just did it!

(Roger: Yeah, we did. It was excellent, by the way.)

Oh, yeah. -curses- I have college homework! I'll be back later!

February 23, 2005

No, we're not.

(Roger: Yes, we are.)

No, we're not.

(Roger: Yes, we are.)

No.

(Roger: Yes.)

(Atom: No! Yes!)

(Roger: Stop taking advantage of the broken lock, Atom!)

(Atom: What are you guys even arguing about?)

Whether we should find out the baby's gender, or not.

(Roger: Did you not say "baby's sex" on purpose?)

Yeah, I didn't want you to get all horny.

(Atom: Please, guys...ew. Anyway, I agree with Klug!)

Two against one. We win.

(Roger: Meh, I say, meh!)

Okay...

(Atom: What do you want he or she to be?)

Girl.

(Roger: Girl.)

(Atom: Ok, cool. Do I get to be her godmother?)

...sure...

(Roger: Oh, come on, Klug...why?)

(Atom: Too late! She already said yes!)

No, scratch that! Blame...the pregnancy hormones for that outburst!

(Roger: Always works.)

-smacks him upside the head-

(Atom: -sings- I am her godmother! Yay yay yay yay yay!)

(Roger: What about names?)

For girls...Angela?

(Roger: Nah, Angela would want to be her godmother then, and if Angela were her godmother, she'd be screwed.)

Yeah... Amy?

(Atom: No, Angela has a friend named Amy.)

She does?

(Atom: Yeah, sucks, huh?)

(Roger: Did you just say "sucks"?)

(Atom: Uh, yeah. 12-year old moment there.)

Apparently. Anyway, what about Cassandra?

(Roger: You're out of the "A" names?)

Yeah.

(Roger: I like Cassandra. What does it mean, though?)

(Atom: -looks it up- "Possibly 'shining upon man'..." What does that mean?)

(Roger: I don't know, but it sounds like someone who wants to have sex.)

Roger, I swear, if you tell her about sex, and how great it is, I will kill you.

(Roger: But-but...)

-glares-

(Roger: -mutters about pregnancy hormones again-)

(Atom: -runs away-)

-beats Roger up-

Anyway...Atom, do you like the name Jane?

(Atom: Not really. How about...Sarah?)

No good. It means "lady" or "princess". I don't want my girl to grow up to be...a prissy, snobbish, cutesy girl.

(Roger: -groggily- Yeah...)

Are you okay?

(Roger: -nods- Sorry.)

-rolls eyes- Never do it again.

(Roger: I'll definitely...remember.)

Good, now let's take a break and have sex.

(Roger: -perkily- Ok! Sure!)

(Atom: I'll, um, see you guys later...)

February 24, 2005

Ok, we've decided, then.

(Roger: Yep.)

(Atom: What is it?)

The names....what did you think?

(Atom: -shrugs-)

Um, okay, anyway....if it's a girl...Samantha Irene Peterson. For a boy, Thomas Drake Peterson.

(Atom: Awww.)

(Roger: Um, yeah. Anyway, Samantha Irene means: Listener Peace. So, ah, I guess she'd be a peaceful listener. And Thomas Drake means: Twin Male Duck OR Twin Dragon.)

(Atom: ...twin?)

What's wrong with that? My name is like Hannah, which means "Grace". I am definitely not graceful. -promptly bangs into desk-

(Roger: -rolls eyes- My first and middle names mean "Famous spear Chariot fighter". When I was in school, I didn't win fights. I did not start fights. I was in a fight, because of some mean people. -wipes tear- And I lost. Painfully.)

Poor Roger. My full name means "Grace Graceful woman". What atrocious naming.

(Atom: -sighs- My full name means "Admirable Lover". I have never found love. I have gone on a date...twice. Pathetic? I think so.)

I met someone you would like, Atom...

(Atom: -perks up- Who?)

His name's David...you would love him. He works with me.

(Atom: Will you set me up?)

I guess so.

(Atom: -starts singing-)

(Roger: Why would anyone want to go out with David?)

(Atom: Huh?)

He's just jealous...David hits on me all the time.

(Atom: So, if I went out with him, he would cheat on me?)

No, no, no... When he had a girlfriend, he didn't try to feel me up at all.

(Atom: I've got a feeling that my standards are getting lower by the day.)

(Roger: No, you think?)

My advice is to take a condom with you.

(Atom: ...ew. Well, whatever. I shall, and I will fall in love.)

Can you plan that?

(Atom: I can try.)

(Roger: Sure...)

Anyway, I'll make a date for you guys right now.

LATER

(Atom: I've gotta go pick out what I want to wear tomorrow!)

(Roger: Don't forget to bring a condom.)

(Atom: -rolls eyes- I don't even believe that.)

It's your funeral.

(Atom: To quote Roger, meh. -leaves-)

What's your bet?

(Roger: She's gonna have sex with him. -thinks- At his house...without a condom.)

I'd believe that.

(Roger: Well, we'll see on Saturday, won't we?)

That we will.

February 26, 2005

Well, it's official---Atom thinks she is in love...with David.

(Roger: Anything else?)

She also thinks she's pregnant.

(Roger: Was I right on with my bet?)

Totally correct.

(Roger: Somehow, it's not satisfying.)

Maybe it's because they're not married?

(Roger: Well, when we went out, we had sex, so I don't think it's that...)

Is it because she thinks she's pregnant?

(Roger: ...yeah. I mean, there was only one time you thought you were pregnant, and that was when I decided to marry you.)

Really?

(Roger: Yep.)

How many times diod we have sex while going out?

(Roger: We started going out in 10th grade....started having sex in 12th...stopped going out a year ago....went out about twice a month....had sex at least once every three months...I'm not going to work it out.)

We have sex about once a week now.

(Roger: Nah, twice. We've had sex 6 times, now that we're married.)

You've kept track?

(Roger: ...well, yeah.)

Before you get all horny on me--

(Roger: Too late.)

-rolls eyes- Anyway, let's go over and see how Atom is.

March 2, 2005

(Roger: Blast her. BLAST HER.)

I cannot believe this...

(Roger: She's pregnant, he left her, the SCUMBAG.)

Yeah...

(Roger: Are you all right?)

I'm just still in shock.

(Roger: I passed that stage. Now I'm in the "I must KEEL him" stage.)

Ah.

(Roger: Idiot, scumbag, bloody IMBECILE.)

Why did I set her up on a date with him?

(Roger: Woah. You're in the "Guilt" phase. How did you pass the "I must KEEL him" phase?)

'Cause I'm a girl.

(Roger: Oh, right. Don't blame yourself.)

-starts crying- But Atom's so young....

(Roger: She got into this mess.)

She's only 21!

(Roger: At least she's not a teen.)

-sniffs- Yeah, but...

(Roger: -sighs- This really blows.)

-wipes eyes- Totally.

(Roger: ...we sounded like school children there.)

Oh, well.

(Roger: Yeah.)

-both stare into distance-

Roger?

(Roger: Yeah?)

Why do you think Atom's such an idiot?

(Roger: Because...she's Atom.)

Do you think...do you think she should abort?

(Roger: -takes a deep breath- Yes.)

-bites lip- Me, too.

(Roger: She's just...not cut out to be a mother, let alone a single mother.)

To tell the truth, she's the most irresponsible person I know. Even including you.

(Roger: Hey!)

Only joking, only joking.

(Roger: Anna?)

What?

(Roger: You are the best bloody wife ever. My god, I love you.)

-snogs him and drags him to the bed-

(Roger: Oh, this is going to be nice...)

March 10, 2005

(Atom: -sniffles- Hello, guys.)

Hey, Atom.

(Roger: Yo.)

-raises eyebrow-

(Atom: Did you post it on the website?)

Well, now I will. Atom isn't pregnant anymore. Which does blow, but at least she'll be more CAREFUL next time. Hint hint.

(Atom: Yup. Definitely.)

(Roger: Anyway, we decided to find out what the gender of the baby is today, Atom.)

(Atom: And?)

Tell her, Roger.

(Roger: Two. One girl, one boy.)

(Atom: What?)

(Roger: Twins.)

(Atom: ...what?)

(Roger: For God's sake! Twins! Twins!)

(Atom: Ok, I heard. Now for my childish screaming. AIEEEE!!!! HOW AWESOME!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!)

-hugs Atom-

(Atom: Hey, what month are you in?)

8th, almost ninth. Finally.

(Atom: What made you guys decide to find out so bloody late?)

Um...curiosity overcame us.

(Roger: Yeah.)

(Atom: This is so awesome! Am I godmother for both of them?)

(Roger: Obviously. We wouldn't want anyone else to.)

-starts crying- Oh, my God, that is soooo touching.

(Roger: -looks at Atom-)

(Atom: -looks at Roger-)

-hugs them both-

-awkward hugs are exchanged-

-wipes away tears- Does anyone want to go out to lunch?

(Roger: -glad that the hugging is over- Sure!)

(Atom: Let's go Chinese!)

Wonderful!

-everyone leaves for a happy, funfilled lunch-